Yes, I Struggle With Lust — No, I’m Not a Man

I couldn’t help but wonder… when did we stop calling it lust? Let’s get one thing straight: lust doesn’t only live in a guy’s brain. It’s not some male-exclusive moral battle that shows up the moment a guy gets WiFi and click happy. I’m a Catholic woman. I love Jesus. And I still struggle with lust. Catholic culture loves to hand the mic to boys when it comes to sexual sin — purity talks, accountability groups, talks about guarding your eyes. Meanwhile, girls are told: cover your shoulders and don’t tempt him.

Cute. But what if we’re the ones also being tempted? What if we’re the ones triggered by edits, shows, scenes, and scrolling spirals that stir something in us we can’t quite name but definitely know isn’t holy Spoiler: we are.

Temptation Is a Thirst Trap — Literally. We live in a world where lust isn’t just tolerated — it’s trending. It’s in the edits on our For You Page — the slow-mo thirst traps with candlelit music and cinematic cuts that could make a literal cartoon look hot. And let’s not pretend we haven’t sent one to the group chat. Or saved it. Or watched it a few (too many) times. Some are so viral I could whisper “Timothée Chalamet” and you’d know the exact edit I’m talking about. You could probably recreate it. And don’t get me started on the Ghost cosplayers. You know who you are.

But here’s the kicker: the music in those edits? Already sexual. Already suggestive. Already doing half the work of seduction. We’ve been ushered into a hyper-progressive culture that’s blurred the line between what’s normal and what’s numbing our discernment. Sex is in the outfits. The captions. The books. The “auras.” (Yes, I said auras. And no, you shouldn’t believe in that — but that’s a post for another day.) It’s all been perfectly crafted. Engineered to allure. Because if sex sells, then the world has become a 24/7 auction.

And I won’t lie — I was in it too. The phone never left my hand. The lighting was always just right. The photoshoots were strategic. I wasn’t dressing for the Kingdom, I was dressing for the likes. And maybe I wasn’t explicitly trying to be lusted after… but I definitely wanted to be wanted. We get trained into thinking hotness equals happiness. And if you think for a second that I am in over my head and just being that religious girl on a religious rant. I want you to think back to how many times you had to retake that picture, re-do that TikTok, or even delete old pictures because they weren’t Instagram-worthy or you didn’t look hot enough. Some of these things we aren’t even willing to admit to ourselves. This isn’t some ramblings of someone acting holier than thou. No this is someone who has lived and and now seen through the smoke that they are blowing up our… well, you know. We have come to know that if we’re not being craved, we’re not worth anything. And guess what? That’s not just culture. That’s formation. We’re taught to sell ourselves subtly in stories and selfies. And when we start doing it, we don’t even realize we’re feeding the beast. Men do it. Women do it. We all contribute to the cycle. But we can choose to opt out.

What has honestly helped me? Logging off and looking up. Some of the most healing, holy confidence I’ve found came not from more control — but from less consumption. From walking away from content that made me feel desirable — but not loved. From creating space for peace instead of edits. From realizing I didn’t need to be sexy. I needed to be whole. Holiness isn’t found in hiding. It’s found in honesty.

Lust isn’t just about porn — but lets talk about that too. Porn isn’t just a “guy thing.” Women fall into it, too. Quietly. Shamefully. Secretly. And it wrecks us the same way. It distorts connection. It perverts what was meant to be pure. It turns sacred intimacy into fast food — quick, cheap, and totally lacking nutrition. And it doesn’t stop there. It bleeds into how we see ourselves, others, and love itself.

Desire isn’t the enemy. God gave it to us. The enemy twists it. Lust is when desire turns into consumption. When we reduce a soul to a body, or worse — a body to a fantasy. And the cure isn’t shame. It’s surrender. Bring it to confession. Talk to God about it like you’d talk to your best friend. Call it what it is. And choose again. Holiness isn’t about never being tempted. It’s about not giving that temptation the final word.

You are not impure for feeling. You are not broken for struggling. You are not disqualified from holiness. Lust may be loud — but God’s love is louder. So yeah, delete the edit. Mute the song. Exit the spiral. Light a candle. Say a prayer. And start again.

Still flawed. Still faithful. Still logging off for my soul.