“Forgiveness Isn’t Weak — It’s How I Took My Power Back”

There’s a huge misconception about forgiveness. We think it makes us weak. Soft. Passive. Like we’re letting people off the hook or acting like nothing happened. But the truth is? Forgiveness is one of the most powerful things you can do. Because refusing to forgive might feel like power — but it’s not. It’s just prolonged pain disguised as control.

So many people refuse to forgive out of anger. Out of pride. Out of spite. And I get it — forgiving someone who hurt you feels unfair. But here’s the thing: when you cling to unforgiveness, you’re not punishing them. You’re punishing yourself.

• You replay the moment over and over.
• You rehearse what you’d say if you got the chance.
• You carry that person with you into every room.
• You bleed onto people who didn’t even hurt you.

Unforgiveness is a slow, silent kind of self-sabotage. And while you think you’re staying strong by staying mad — what you’re really doing is giving them free rent in your heart. If You Can’t Forgive, They Still Have Power Over You

Why would you want to let the people who hurt you and let you down continue to hold power over you. People love to say they don’t care anymore — but refusing to forgive is caring. It’s your hurt and pain refusing to let go. It’s the part of you still clinging to the idea that holding onto anger will get you justice. But here’s the hard truth: If you are waiting for justice, know it may never come.

And it’s not fair. And it’s cruel. But you cannot wait for it. Because in that waiting, you lower yourself. You keep yourself stuck. You give them more time, more space, more control. If your heart rate spikes at the sound of their name — they still have power. If you shrink when you see them in public — they still have power. If you let what they did dictate how you show up in relationships now — they still have power. And they don’t even have to try. Because you’re the one keeping the wound open. Forgiveness doesn’t say, “What you did was okay.” It says, “What you did will no longer define me.”

Forgiveness Isn’t For Them — It’s For You You forgive so you can be free. So you can heal. So you can stop living in reaction to something they did months, years, maybe even decades ago. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. It doesn’t mean you need to have a conversation. It doesn’t mean you need to let them back in. It just means: I release you from the hold you had on my spirit. I choose peace over bitterness. I want my life back.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s self-awareness. It’s spiritual maturity. It’s saying, “You don’t get to live in my head or my heart rent-free anymore.” Jesus didn’t forgive people because they deserved it. He did it because He was free — and He wanted us to be free too. So this is me choosing freedom. Choosing peace. Choosing to take my power back.

Still healing. Still releasing. Still walking away stronger.